Am I going blind?

Life has a strange way of presenting changes to one’s perception. When I was youthful, there were some foods that I liked and some that I did not. As I grew older, my taste changed. I began to like a larger variety of foods. Of which, some were foods that I hated as a child. This was a very gradual change that had a mild impact on my life. My perception of an important person changed recently, which is much more serious than my superficial example. This new change holds more emotion and harsher consequences.

Recently, someone that I love appeared different to me. The intense love and passion that we shared in the beginning was enthralling. This person was my entire world and we spent all of our time together. I could not imagine not having her at my side. We always smiled and never fought. Unfortunately, the passion vanished almost as magically as it appeared.

The person that used to be the rock that I leaned against for support was gone. Did I change? Did she change? I think that both of us changed. It is difficult to pinpoint when my feelings began to deviate. Once the passion is gone, is there any way to get it back? Under any other circumstance, I would say “Yes”, but something is different inside of me. I no longer see her as the focus of my affections, but she is still very dear to me. What saddens me the most is that I am not worried about the loss of passion. I am more concerned about losing my best friend. It is very difficult for me to envision a life without her. I wish that I could change, so that we could return to our old ways. I do not see that happening. I have completely detached. Where did I go wrong? Why is this happening to us?

Old memories of us laughing and joking together haunt my thoughts. Her smile strikes my heart with the force and the precision of an arrow, yet I only see her as a friend. Why can’t I change my perception of her? I sometimes question my ability to see her properly. I can see her standing before me, but I cannot see her for everything she meant to me in the past. If I can’t see how much she means to me, I must be blind.