The life of a short man is full of jealousy and feelings of inadequacy. I have always been shorter than my peers have. I have come to terms with it more so as I have gotten older, but every once in a while I still hope for a random growth spurt. Unfortunately, I do not think it is going to happen. Apparently, it is uncommon for a thirty-one year old.
My first gripe about being a short man is the natural limitation concerning members of the opposite sex. Being a short man, I always search for a women that are my height or shorter. One would think that this would be universal, but it is not. All of the tall men tend to want the tiny women. It seems that these skyscrapers could have found a woman from average height to their height. Aside from making sense, this would also permit me a larger pool to work with. It seems only fair.
Secondly, how many short jokes do I have to hear? I get it. I am not very tall. The, “I don’t think your tall enough to ride this ride” is always a fun one at the county fair for the billionth time. Luckily, for me I take my handicap in stride and usually beat them to the punch line. My crusades have afforded me a plethora of witty short man humor. By cracking the short jokes before they can, I can come off as the funny short man. Such aspirations I have.
Lastly, every time something is out of reach, it is a blast to the ego. I find it hilarious when my wife asks me to get something up high, since I am all of a half an inch taller than she is. I guess I should thank her for allowing me to feel more like a man on occasion.
Do not get me wrong, I am sure there are benefits to being short, I just do not know of any. Fortunately, I hear that they have heel implants now. This way I can be the slightly taller short man with the abnormally sized feet. I have learned to live with my Napoleon complex and my short stature. It was not easy, but I will make the best of it. Next time that someone attempts to overlook me for a pick-up game of basketball I will inform that I am not short, just gravity sensitive and I will not stand for their intolerance.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Big Wheel Keep On Turning
I have very few memories of my childhood and that is probably a good thing. What I remember most is riding my big wheel around Mema’s (I could not say grandma) house. I have tried to remember more of my fragmented past, but with little luck. Those summer days are the best memories that I have of my youth.
I had a Knight Rider big wheel, which looked similar to the car from the hit television series of the same name. “Kitt” was the name of the car on the show. “Kitt” was also a robot that could talk and function on its own accord. The car also had a distinctive red light just below the hood that would light up when the car spoke. My big wheel shared this red light, though mine did not light up. The light was one of my favorite things about my big wheel, because it reminded me of “Kitt”. My other favorite component was the emergency brake lever on the right side next the rear wheels, which made for some exhilarating fun.
Mema lived on a corner lot and the only real neighbor she had was the house to the right. The owners name was Mr. Lesch. Every summer day, I would be outside riding back-and-forth from Mema’s driveway to Mr. Lesch’s driveway. I would build up as much speed as possible as I approached the concrete pad of the driveway and then I yanked on my brake lever. This sent my big wheel into a full one hundred and eighty degree spin. Each time I skidded to a stop, I would feverishly peddle to build my speed back up for the next driveway. One could always hear the crackle of those plastic wheels against the grit and pebbles on the sidewalk and then a plastic scrap as I spun around with glee.
Everyday Mr. Lesch would see me riding around and stop to ask me if I wanted a snack. It would have been rude to turn down his generosity. That and at my young age, I could always eat. Sometimes it was a pickle and other times a fresh baked cookie that Mrs. Lesch made. It is amazing how much easier it was to entertain myself as a child. It was so much simpler then.
Sometimes I think back and remember the innocence and simplicity of my youth and I miss it. Back then, I did not worry about bills or a mortgage. The complexity of marriage was alien to me. It was just my big wheel, the cool summer air, and me.
I had a Knight Rider big wheel, which looked similar to the car from the hit television series of the same name. “Kitt” was the name of the car on the show. “Kitt” was also a robot that could talk and function on its own accord. The car also had a distinctive red light just below the hood that would light up when the car spoke. My big wheel shared this red light, though mine did not light up. The light was one of my favorite things about my big wheel, because it reminded me of “Kitt”. My other favorite component was the emergency brake lever on the right side next the rear wheels, which made for some exhilarating fun.
Mema lived on a corner lot and the only real neighbor she had was the house to the right. The owners name was Mr. Lesch. Every summer day, I would be outside riding back-and-forth from Mema’s driveway to Mr. Lesch’s driveway. I would build up as much speed as possible as I approached the concrete pad of the driveway and then I yanked on my brake lever. This sent my big wheel into a full one hundred and eighty degree spin. Each time I skidded to a stop, I would feverishly peddle to build my speed back up for the next driveway. One could always hear the crackle of those plastic wheels against the grit and pebbles on the sidewalk and then a plastic scrap as I spun around with glee.
Everyday Mr. Lesch would see me riding around and stop to ask me if I wanted a snack. It would have been rude to turn down his generosity. That and at my young age, I could always eat. Sometimes it was a pickle and other times a fresh baked cookie that Mrs. Lesch made. It is amazing how much easier it was to entertain myself as a child. It was so much simpler then.
Sometimes I think back and remember the innocence and simplicity of my youth and I miss it. Back then, I did not worry about bills or a mortgage. The complexity of marriage was alien to me. It was just my big wheel, the cool summer air, and me.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Am I going blind?
Life has a strange way of presenting changes to one’s perception. When I was youthful, there were some foods that I liked and some that I did not. As I grew older, my taste changed. I began to like a larger variety of foods. Of which, some were foods that I hated as a child. This was a very gradual change that had a mild impact on my life. My perception of an important person changed recently, which is much more serious than my superficial example. This new change holds more emotion and harsher consequences.
Recently, someone that I love appeared different to me. The intense love and passion that we shared in the beginning was enthralling. This person was my entire world and we spent all of our time together. I could not imagine not having her at my side. We always smiled and never fought. Unfortunately, the passion vanished almost as magically as it appeared.
The person that used to be the rock that I leaned against for support was gone. Did I change? Did she change? I think that both of us changed. It is difficult to pinpoint when my feelings began to deviate. Once the passion is gone, is there any way to get it back? Under any other circumstance, I would say “Yes”, but something is different inside of me. I no longer see her as the focus of my affections, but she is still very dear to me. What saddens me the most is that I am not worried about the loss of passion. I am more concerned about losing my best friend. It is very difficult for me to envision a life without her. I wish that I could change, so that we could return to our old ways. I do not see that happening. I have completely detached. Where did I go wrong? Why is this happening to us?
Old memories of us laughing and joking together haunt my thoughts. Her smile strikes my heart with the force and the precision of an arrow, yet I only see her as a friend. Why can’t I change my perception of her? I sometimes question my ability to see her properly. I can see her standing before me, but I cannot see her for everything she meant to me in the past. If I can’t see how much she means to me, I must be blind.
Recently, someone that I love appeared different to me. The intense love and passion that we shared in the beginning was enthralling. This person was my entire world and we spent all of our time together. I could not imagine not having her at my side. We always smiled and never fought. Unfortunately, the passion vanished almost as magically as it appeared.
The person that used to be the rock that I leaned against for support was gone. Did I change? Did she change? I think that both of us changed. It is difficult to pinpoint when my feelings began to deviate. Once the passion is gone, is there any way to get it back? Under any other circumstance, I would say “Yes”, but something is different inside of me. I no longer see her as the focus of my affections, but she is still very dear to me. What saddens me the most is that I am not worried about the loss of passion. I am more concerned about losing my best friend. It is very difficult for me to envision a life without her. I wish that I could change, so that we could return to our old ways. I do not see that happening. I have completely detached. Where did I go wrong? Why is this happening to us?
Old memories of us laughing and joking together haunt my thoughts. Her smile strikes my heart with the force and the precision of an arrow, yet I only see her as a friend. Why can’t I change my perception of her? I sometimes question my ability to see her properly. I can see her standing before me, but I cannot see her for everything she meant to me in the past. If I can’t see how much she means to me, I must be blind.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
HD to 3D
High-Definition (HD) television is on its way to becoming the customary standard for the United States. Currently Standard Definition still takes up the majority of the population, but not by much. Many Americans are making the switch to improve the picture quality of their everyday entertainment, but this advance typically comes with a hefty price tag. With HD on the rise, is it wise for so many companies to be investing so much money into a third dimension?
Being able to view your movies in the third dimension (3D) has been an attractive feature for moviegoers for a long time, but how many want to watch their every day entertainment in 3D? 3D viewings of box office blockbusters Avatar and Up have prompted many companies within the industry to start investing substantial sums of money into 3D technology. With the current recession, few are able to afford a new television, but those that could have already purchased a HD television. It seems unlikely that the world is ready for 3D viewing in their home. The initial cost for these items would be substantial. Besides purchasing a new 3D television, one would need to purchase a 3D capable Blue-ray player, 3D movies, and 3D glasses for each person in the audience. Consumers will also likely experience a pricey upgrade with the cable or satellite company to get all the new 3D channels.
The increase in 3D movie ticket sales made such an impact on the industry, that ESPN and the Discovery channel have already confirmed a 3D channel within the coming months. ESPN has already scheduled a 3D broadcast of World Cup Soccer in June. With the surge of interest surrounding this technology, it is likely that more television stations will do the same. The broadcast companies are attempting to draw consumers in with exclusive events, but they are not the only ones that are pushing to get 3D television to market.
The biggest names in electronics are already totting their new toys at this year’s Consumer Electronics Show (CES). LG, Panasonic, and Toshiba treated CES guests with the opportunity to experience 3D television. Many other electronics manufacturers are providing this new option as well, but is this a wise move for the industry?
With the current downturn in the economy, is it wise for so many companies to invest such a large amount of money into this technology? How will the market receive such a lavish item? With many Americans still watching television in Standard Definition, making the jump to HD, could be a stretch of the imagination.
Being able to view your movies in the third dimension (3D) has been an attractive feature for moviegoers for a long time, but how many want to watch their every day entertainment in 3D? 3D viewings of box office blockbusters Avatar and Up have prompted many companies within the industry to start investing substantial sums of money into 3D technology. With the current recession, few are able to afford a new television, but those that could have already purchased a HD television. It seems unlikely that the world is ready for 3D viewing in their home. The initial cost for these items would be substantial. Besides purchasing a new 3D television, one would need to purchase a 3D capable Blue-ray player, 3D movies, and 3D glasses for each person in the audience. Consumers will also likely experience a pricey upgrade with the cable or satellite company to get all the new 3D channels.
The increase in 3D movie ticket sales made such an impact on the industry, that ESPN and the Discovery channel have already confirmed a 3D channel within the coming months. ESPN has already scheduled a 3D broadcast of World Cup Soccer in June. With the surge of interest surrounding this technology, it is likely that more television stations will do the same. The broadcast companies are attempting to draw consumers in with exclusive events, but they are not the only ones that are pushing to get 3D television to market.
The biggest names in electronics are already totting their new toys at this year’s Consumer Electronics Show (CES). LG, Panasonic, and Toshiba treated CES guests with the opportunity to experience 3D television. Many other electronics manufacturers are providing this new option as well, but is this a wise move for the industry?
With the current downturn in the economy, is it wise for so many companies to invest such a large amount of money into this technology? How will the market receive such a lavish item? With many Americans still watching television in Standard Definition, making the jump to HD, could be a stretch of the imagination.
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