Mmmm... Donuts

February 15, 2010

Ben Lemon
1234 Dreary Lane
Marietta, GA 30066



Krispy Kreme Doughnut Corporation
PO Box 83
Winston-Salem, NC 27102

Dear Krispy Kreme,

I am writing you in regards to the service I received at your Marietta, Georgia location (299 Cobb Parkway South). I have been frequenting this establishment for several years and have always been discouraged by the cold and callous demeanor of its workers. Unfortunately, this location is the only one near my place of employment. On my last visit, the lack of accountability and customer service was very unacceptable to say the least.

On February 10th, I stopped to get a doughnut and coffee as I do at least once a week on my way to work. On this particular day, the drive-thru employee was very rude. She has been rude in the past, but this time she was worse. I was given my doughnut and was asked to wait for my coffee. Upon her return to the window, she spilled the very hot coffee across my lap. This of course burned me, but it also damaged the seats and carpet in my car. I asked to speak to the manager and she advised me that he was not available. I asked, “why not?” The employee told me that he has not come into work yet and said the she does not know when he will arrive. I explained my disapproval and asked her to get me a new cup of coffee. Upon receiving the coffee, I informed her that I will be contacting the corporate office about this.

I must pose a few questions regarding my experience at this particular location. Why was the Marietta store without a manager? Who is going to pay to get this mess shampooed out of my vehicle’s interior? I enjoy your product, but I do not believe that it is worth the lackluster service and the chance that this may happen again.

Sincerely,

Ben Lemon



Krispy Kreme Customer


Additions:
1. I added the date at the top of the letter.
2. I added a new line to the last paragraph. (“I must pose a few questions regarding my experience at this particular location.)
3. I also added “Sincerely” to my closing.
Deletion:
1. I deleted a sentence from my last paragraph. (At the very least, I think that Krispy Kreme should pay to get the interior of my vehicle cleaned.)
Substitution:
1. I changed, “I asked to speak to her manager” to I asked to speak to the manager”.
2. Instead of posing a question on the last sentence, I changed it to a sentence. [(I enjoy your product, but is it worth the lackluster service….) to (I enjoy your product, but I do not believe its worth the lackluster service….)]

I think the changes that I made the letter a bit more precise and professional. I also think that by removing “At the very least, I think that Krispy Kreme should pay to get the interior of my vehicle cleaned” that I have reduced the chance that Krispy Kreme will do the bare minimum to keep me as a customer.

Title of Blog Citation:
“Lisa the Tree Hugger.” The Simpsons.FOX. KTTV FOX, Los Angeles. 19 November 2000